Part One:
The piece in the wax paper that really caught my attention was " Drought Season". The diction throughout the piece sparks interest such as purled and vapor. The imagery of the vapor becoming rain is pleasing and is an ordinary process that is crucial for the farmers. The separation of the stanzas of past and present weather patterns is also interesting. It alludes to different tones as the first stanza seemed hopeful in the rain as it felt never ending providing a nice growing season. The second stanza focuses on the hardships of a drought and believing that miracles can happen. It feels full circle in that the weather changes frequently as does life and the challenges presented with it.
Part Two:
Throughout the workshops I feel both my writing and criticism has improved. In the beginning critiquing a poem felt intimidating and I focused more on devices and the stanzas. As they progressed my viewpoint changed and it was nice seeing the different styles people presented. To view what others enjoyed such as rhyme or experimenting with the lines and alternating stanza lengths. That many different tones and voices can exist without leading to a downfall. That my attention is now drawn to the overall analysis of the poem and its theme being conveyed. My writing has felt consistent with focusing on imagery and being quite long in line length. The workshops helped with bringing attention to the devices used in my poems sometimes being unknown uses of alliteration. That hearing what others can relate to within it helps with trying to make the poem universal and not just mine.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Journal six by Britnee
Part one: The poem that caught my eye is Apocalypse. I really liked the short lines and the shortness of the poem in general. The stanzas and lines look like they were chosen at random; some having only one word lines or one line stanzas. The first stanza is my favorite. It has a nice sound and introduces the idea of the poem straight away "this is how I want the curtain to close:" I also liked how there is no capitalization other than the I in the poem.
Part two:
I think i have improved most in my criticism because of the workshops. I have also improved my writing but i am now able to pick up on more things in others writings that i still trouble with in my own writing. When reading other peoples poems, I notice words that just do not fit very well or doesn't make sense in the context. I also look a lot for if there is a rhyme or not. If there, is does it stay throughout the whole poem. In Dathans last poem he workshopped, Bark and Tooth, He had a rhyme at the beginning and soon dropped it. I think my improvement of my criticism has helped my writing as well though. The things i look for in other peoples poems I think about when writing my own poems.
Part two:
I think i have improved most in my criticism because of the workshops. I have also improved my writing but i am now able to pick up on more things in others writings that i still trouble with in my own writing. When reading other peoples poems, I notice words that just do not fit very well or doesn't make sense in the context. I also look a lot for if there is a rhyme or not. If there, is does it stay throughout the whole poem. In Dathans last poem he workshopped, Bark and Tooth, He had a rhyme at the beginning and soon dropped it. I think my improvement of my criticism has helped my writing as well though. The things i look for in other peoples poems I think about when writing my own poems.
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Journal Six from Dathan
Part One:
The piece that I enjoyed the most from this paper was The Second to Last Supper. It is about an inmate that is waiting to be executed.
1) The first thing that I noticed about it was the fact that until you got around the end it doesn't actually say that he is a prisoner waiting to die, the man who is getting for for him is a guard and it doesn't mention a prison at all. Even though it becomes obvious well before then end what is happening, I still think it was cool how he evaded what was really happening.
2) Another thing that I like about this one was the ending. Once you know that it is centered on prisons and knowing that the title is The Second to Last Supper it is not too far of a leap to guess how it is supposed to end. Prisoners on death row can order whatever they want, within reason, if anything is missing that is within reason from their list their execution gets pushed back. The prisoner just ordered a lot of food, nothing too hard to find, practically anything that you could find at a fast food place. Their was one item that the guard in charge of getting the food could not find, and tried to avoid the subject, hoping that the prisoner would not notice; it was orange juice. The best part about the item being orange juice is that the state they are in is Florida. So, in the end his execution gets postponed, and he gets another meal.
3) In one of my other classes we went to Marion Correctional Institution. We met some of the inmates their, I didn't think it would be anarchy or stabbings but it was still different than what I expected; they are just people, real people. This story is a little ridiculous, but I could see someone doing it. I mean by telling the guards that they forgot something you push back you execution and get another meal.
Part Two:
I'm honestly not too sure which has improved more. I fell that some of my newer poems are worse than some of the earlier ones. I will go with my criticism. It is kind of like the poems, every once in a while I give a helpful criticism, but most of the time it is really nothing too unique or put together. The hard part is going to be after this class, when we have to critique our own work and then fix them. When we were getting ready for our poet presentation Aziz and I looked at each others poems that were do that day, it was the one after spring break. We both did something related to the ear. I would have liked to hear some of those poems of his in the workshop more. Variety.
The piece that I enjoyed the most from this paper was The Second to Last Supper. It is about an inmate that is waiting to be executed.
1) The first thing that I noticed about it was the fact that until you got around the end it doesn't actually say that he is a prisoner waiting to die, the man who is getting for for him is a guard and it doesn't mention a prison at all. Even though it becomes obvious well before then end what is happening, I still think it was cool how he evaded what was really happening.
2) Another thing that I like about this one was the ending. Once you know that it is centered on prisons and knowing that the title is The Second to Last Supper it is not too far of a leap to guess how it is supposed to end. Prisoners on death row can order whatever they want, within reason, if anything is missing that is within reason from their list their execution gets pushed back. The prisoner just ordered a lot of food, nothing too hard to find, practically anything that you could find at a fast food place. Their was one item that the guard in charge of getting the food could not find, and tried to avoid the subject, hoping that the prisoner would not notice; it was orange juice. The best part about the item being orange juice is that the state they are in is Florida. So, in the end his execution gets postponed, and he gets another meal.
3) In one of my other classes we went to Marion Correctional Institution. We met some of the inmates their, I didn't think it would be anarchy or stabbings but it was still different than what I expected; they are just people, real people. This story is a little ridiculous, but I could see someone doing it. I mean by telling the guards that they forgot something you push back you execution and get another meal.
Part Two:
I'm honestly not too sure which has improved more. I fell that some of my newer poems are worse than some of the earlier ones. I will go with my criticism. It is kind of like the poems, every once in a while I give a helpful criticism, but most of the time it is really nothing too unique or put together. The hard part is going to be after this class, when we have to critique our own work and then fix them. When we were getting ready for our poet presentation Aziz and I looked at each others poems that were do that day, it was the one after spring break. We both did something related to the ear. I would have liked to hear some of those poems of his in the workshop more. Variety.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Rosen Journal #6
Part One:
The piece that stuck out to me the most in the wax newspaper was Contact by Robbie Gamble.
1) The first reason that this piece stuck out to me is because of the shortness of the poem. I love reading short poems because ironically they usually have the most to say. In this short poem it describes a story of a speaker meeting a man that had been shot in seven locations on his body. The speaker then describes the locations he was shot, laundry list style, and then finishes on the piece by saying he "rubbed his forehead for luck" which can be taken in a passionate sense or a literal sense. For me, it can go either way and I love the mystery of not knowing whether this speaker is a cynic or a gentle and caring person.
2) The second thing that I noticed in this piece was the tone of the piece. The entire piece had almost a comedic or ironic tone. This is portrayed with language like "bitch slap", this line made me laugh (realistically smirk) and stuck out to me while reading it. This poem really was funny and carefree and I loved the aura around it. Gamble takes such a serious condition of a man getting shot seven times and makes it much lighter when it could easily be dark. This tone drives the poem fully and makes it the poem that it is.
3) The third thing that I noticed while reading this poem is the set up of the poem. The stanzas are uneven with the amount of lines used per stanza and also the length of each foot. This kind of adds to the tone of the poem with how it's almost a "no rules" type of poem and I really like that. This poem doesn't need rhyme scheme, this poem doesn't need pentameter, this poem needed to say what Robbie wants the speaker to say and thats all that matters.
Part Two:
I believe that I've improved the most when it comes to criticism. When it comes to writing I take the comments from the workshop seriously so that I can add to my poems but overall I believe that I'm usually more of an independent writer and while I've improved in my writing in this class I think that my criticism has show more of a prominent improvement. I think that I've definitely gotten better at listening because I'm such a talkative person. I will be honest, because I'm a talkative person there are times that I will talk just because I know it is helping me with my grade for participation. But as the class went on and we did more and more workshops I learned to really hear people and listen to what they're saying before just spitting something out just to say it. I think an example of this is when we were going over Dathan's piece "Disparity" (I think thats what it was called). In this workshop I didn't talk much and I really listened to what everyone was saying and also watching Dathan to see how he was reacting to see what he thought of the responses just through body language. Once people said what they had to, it gave me a better idea of what to say, and I'm happy to be improving on that section of criticism. Now when it comes to actually critiquing other pieces I think I've gotten better at being honest with people's work whether it's brutal or not. I think that telling people that bad parts of the poem can be even more important then telling them the good parts because if they don't hear the bad then they won't improve. I think that towards the beginning of the year I would say more positive than negative because I truly didn't know how to analyze a poem the way that I do now. I didn't know what enjambment was and I didn't notice the symmetry in poems, and now that I do I have the ability to point it out when it looks good and bad. I think the best part of learning how to criticize other peoples pieces is that now I can criticize my own pieces, be honest with myself for when I'm writing something poorly, and in the end that's what's going to make me a better writer.
The piece that stuck out to me the most in the wax newspaper was Contact by Robbie Gamble.
1) The first reason that this piece stuck out to me is because of the shortness of the poem. I love reading short poems because ironically they usually have the most to say. In this short poem it describes a story of a speaker meeting a man that had been shot in seven locations on his body. The speaker then describes the locations he was shot, laundry list style, and then finishes on the piece by saying he "rubbed his forehead for luck" which can be taken in a passionate sense or a literal sense. For me, it can go either way and I love the mystery of not knowing whether this speaker is a cynic or a gentle and caring person.
2) The second thing that I noticed in this piece was the tone of the piece. The entire piece had almost a comedic or ironic tone. This is portrayed with language like "bitch slap", this line made me laugh (realistically smirk) and stuck out to me while reading it. This poem really was funny and carefree and I loved the aura around it. Gamble takes such a serious condition of a man getting shot seven times and makes it much lighter when it could easily be dark. This tone drives the poem fully and makes it the poem that it is.
3) The third thing that I noticed while reading this poem is the set up of the poem. The stanzas are uneven with the amount of lines used per stanza and also the length of each foot. This kind of adds to the tone of the poem with how it's almost a "no rules" type of poem and I really like that. This poem doesn't need rhyme scheme, this poem doesn't need pentameter, this poem needed to say what Robbie wants the speaker to say and thats all that matters.
Part Two:
I believe that I've improved the most when it comes to criticism. When it comes to writing I take the comments from the workshop seriously so that I can add to my poems but overall I believe that I'm usually more of an independent writer and while I've improved in my writing in this class I think that my criticism has show more of a prominent improvement. I think that I've definitely gotten better at listening because I'm such a talkative person. I will be honest, because I'm a talkative person there are times that I will talk just because I know it is helping me with my grade for participation. But as the class went on and we did more and more workshops I learned to really hear people and listen to what they're saying before just spitting something out just to say it. I think an example of this is when we were going over Dathan's piece "Disparity" (I think thats what it was called). In this workshop I didn't talk much and I really listened to what everyone was saying and also watching Dathan to see how he was reacting to see what he thought of the responses just through body language. Once people said what they had to, it gave me a better idea of what to say, and I'm happy to be improving on that section of criticism. Now when it comes to actually critiquing other pieces I think I've gotten better at being honest with people's work whether it's brutal or not. I think that telling people that bad parts of the poem can be even more important then telling them the good parts because if they don't hear the bad then they won't improve. I think that towards the beginning of the year I would say more positive than negative because I truly didn't know how to analyze a poem the way that I do now. I didn't know what enjambment was and I didn't notice the symmetry in poems, and now that I do I have the ability to point it out when it looks good and bad. I think the best part of learning how to criticize other peoples pieces is that now I can criticize my own pieces, be honest with myself for when I'm writing something poorly, and in the end that's what's going to make me a better writer.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Journal 6- Jake Ritzert
Journal 6- Jake Ritzert
Part One: The poem Contact by Robbie Gamble caught my attention the most because of the humor and tone the poet uses.
1.) The first thing I found interesting was the the overall structure of the poem was wacky. The stanza line length are as follows: 5, 3, 2, 1 and contains no rhyme and close to no poetic devices that I am familiar with, but still reads like a poem.
2.) The one thing I feel that gives the poem as poetic feel is how Robbie Gamble uses 2 lists within the stanzas to establish some kind of structure. The first 2 stanzas contain these lists and I think it puts the reader into a state of rhythm from some sort of repetition that the lists give off. I think it is a very creative way to make the poem have more meaning.
3.) I thought that it was very ironic that the overall theme of the poem was that contact with items creates potential outcomes or emotions throughout your life. The author's last name Gamble is ironic because the person in the poem rubs the head of a man that is happy even though he has been shot 7 times before. I think that he is rubbing the man's head for luck and gambling involves lots of luck so the last name and the events in the poem correlate.
Part Two;
I believe that my criticism has improved the most, but this also is impacting and helping my writing. I feel like I am able to recognize and detect imperfections in rhyme or rhythm better when reading poetry. I think that I can detect awkward lines and writing because my style of writing usually contains a rhyme scheme. This has lead me to be able to pick up on poetry that lacks rhythm. I also feel like I have become more confident when addressing people's work and have a valued opinion when trying to criticize other poetry. However, I feel like all of the criticism the workshops have provided for my own work has helped my poems immensely. Workshops have allowed for me to identify some of the flaws in my writing. I think my writing is improving the most in establishing a more equal syllable pattern in each line and in being okay with trying new styles and poetic devices even if they don't always work best.
I feel like I am finally starting to break free of my own established style, which has allowed me to venture out of my comfort zone and try to find new and better styles that can improve my work.
I never thought poetry would become something that allows me to express myself in such an honest and thoughtful way. I now have a new view and appreciation for poetry that I never believed possible.
Part One: The poem Contact by Robbie Gamble caught my attention the most because of the humor and tone the poet uses.
1.) The first thing I found interesting was the the overall structure of the poem was wacky. The stanza line length are as follows: 5, 3, 2, 1 and contains no rhyme and close to no poetic devices that I am familiar with, but still reads like a poem.
2.) The one thing I feel that gives the poem as poetic feel is how Robbie Gamble uses 2 lists within the stanzas to establish some kind of structure. The first 2 stanzas contain these lists and I think it puts the reader into a state of rhythm from some sort of repetition that the lists give off. I think it is a very creative way to make the poem have more meaning.
3.) I thought that it was very ironic that the overall theme of the poem was that contact with items creates potential outcomes or emotions throughout your life. The author's last name Gamble is ironic because the person in the poem rubs the head of a man that is happy even though he has been shot 7 times before. I think that he is rubbing the man's head for luck and gambling involves lots of luck so the last name and the events in the poem correlate.
Part Two;
I believe that my criticism has improved the most, but this also is impacting and helping my writing. I feel like I am able to recognize and detect imperfections in rhyme or rhythm better when reading poetry. I think that I can detect awkward lines and writing because my style of writing usually contains a rhyme scheme. This has lead me to be able to pick up on poetry that lacks rhythm. I also feel like I have become more confident when addressing people's work and have a valued opinion when trying to criticize other poetry. However, I feel like all of the criticism the workshops have provided for my own work has helped my poems immensely. Workshops have allowed for me to identify some of the flaws in my writing. I think my writing is improving the most in establishing a more equal syllable pattern in each line and in being okay with trying new styles and poetic devices even if they don't always work best.
I feel like I am finally starting to break free of my own established style, which has allowed me to venture out of my comfort zone and try to find new and better styles that can improve my work.
I never thought poetry would become something that allows me to express myself in such an honest and thoughtful way. I now have a new view and appreciation for poetry that I never believed possible.
Journal #6- Morgan DeWitt
Part One:
The Wax Paper was awesome! This was my 2nd time reading one of their issues and I feel like this one is even better than the first.
The piece that I'm most drawn to is "Because I'm Being Honest"-
Moon-deprived, I stumble full-bodied into the yard,
fallen from winter’s black clouds, humiliating myself
because it’s what you love most in me. This is what
I have to give.
At the small gathering, you yell at me but tell me
it’s for an entirely different reason— but it’s really
because I crave the body of a liar and fool more than
anything that might be right.
You won’t laugh at my humor because it’s really no
substitute for intimacy. The photo on the wall gives
us both pain for what we used to be. And now: our
post script has become greater than the body it was.
I'm very drawn to this piece because I feel like I've been in the speakers shoes before in a past relationship. We really liked each other at first but then our feelings gradually started to fade out. We already gave each other everything we could but it still just wouldn't work and even thought we both knew this we still kinda awkwardly pretended it would end up working out. This is a bad place to be and I felt really connected to this piece in that way.
Part Two:
I've really learned a lot about my writing in the workshops during this class. For example, a lot of times I'm not very confident in what I write and I won't think very highly of a poem. After hearing what people say during the workshop and hearing that they like a certain poem I've written, I become more confident in my ability to write when I sit down and edit the poem. Workshops have also helped me develop an eye for where my poems need editing. For example, for a stanza in my poem "The Yellow Paintbrush":
After dawn,
when the ripples just look like ripples
and the Steamboat natchez leaves the bay.
I walk to the corner store to
buy another bottle of bourbon.
I thought the dropped line worked here at first but then after hearing everyone's thoughts in workshop, I realize the poem is better without the drop line.
I really want to thank all of you for being awesome workshoppers. You've really helped me with my poems a lot and I've felt honored to be able to read everyone's work. You are all very talented and I hope you keep writing after this class! :)
The Wax Paper was awesome! This was my 2nd time reading one of their issues and I feel like this one is even better than the first.
The piece that I'm most drawn to is "Because I'm Being Honest"-
Moon-deprived, I stumble full-bodied into the yard,
fallen from winter’s black clouds, humiliating myself
because it’s what you love most in me. This is what
I have to give.
At the small gathering, you yell at me but tell me
it’s for an entirely different reason— but it’s really
because I crave the body of a liar and fool more than
anything that might be right.
You won’t laugh at my humor because it’s really no
substitute for intimacy. The photo on the wall gives
us both pain for what we used to be. And now: our
post script has become greater than the body it was.
I'm very drawn to this piece because I feel like I've been in the speakers shoes before in a past relationship. We really liked each other at first but then our feelings gradually started to fade out. We already gave each other everything we could but it still just wouldn't work and even thought we both knew this we still kinda awkwardly pretended it would end up working out. This is a bad place to be and I felt really connected to this piece in that way.
I liked the descriptions in the piece. For example, "Moon-deprived", I've never heard that phrase before but I really enjoy how it sounds and works in this piece. It sets the tone of the poem as dark and kind of cold right away.
I also enjoyed the personal touches that the author added-"I crave the body of a liar and fool more than anything that might be right". I liked this because it was hard, cold, and honest (as the title lays out for us). It was very daring and risk taking.
The last line left me wondering about the piece, "And now: our
post script has become greater than the body it was." I'm wondering what the author means by this. Is he saying they've made such a mess that there's no way they could fix anything? Or is he saying they've changed so much as people they couldn't return to who they use to be? I would love to hear what others think about this line! Part Two:
I've really learned a lot about my writing in the workshops during this class. For example, a lot of times I'm not very confident in what I write and I won't think very highly of a poem. After hearing what people say during the workshop and hearing that they like a certain poem I've written, I become more confident in my ability to write when I sit down and edit the poem. Workshops have also helped me develop an eye for where my poems need editing. For example, for a stanza in my poem "The Yellow Paintbrush":
After dawn,
when the ripples just look like ripples
and the Steamboat natchez leaves the bay.
I walk to the corner store to
buy another bottle of bourbon.
I thought the dropped line worked here at first but then after hearing everyone's thoughts in workshop, I realize the poem is better without the drop line.
I really want to thank all of you for being awesome workshoppers. You've really helped me with my poems a lot and I've felt honored to be able to read everyone's work. You are all very talented and I hope you keep writing after this class! :)
Journal Six - Brooke Voisard
Part One:
"Late Hour" by Talal Alyan caught my attention because of the strange format. The lines and stanzas were very strange looking, so I judged a poem by its cover and decided to continue reading. It ended up being very enigmatic and mysterious, but very intriguing. The woman in the green dress gave it a sexy and dark vibe that I really enjoyed. I also noticed the alternative definitions it gave to the moon. It's an ornament in the sky, but it's also a gloom that hangs over your bedroom. It added depth to the poem where it could have just said "the moon in the sky".
Part Two:
I think my writing and my criticism have both changed a lot throughout our workshops. I am definitely better at picking out criticisms now than I was earlier. At first I would only talk about punctuation and the way a poem sounded and maybe my favorite word, but now I can pick out both good and bad uses of the line, and in turn I am able to incorporate that into my own writing. I am much more conscious of the line in my poetry now, when I used to have no idea what it was. I'm better at recognizing flow and form and meter, as I know more vocabulary relating to those things and how to use them myself.
"Late Hour" by Talal Alyan caught my attention because of the strange format. The lines and stanzas were very strange looking, so I judged a poem by its cover and decided to continue reading. It ended up being very enigmatic and mysterious, but very intriguing. The woman in the green dress gave it a sexy and dark vibe that I really enjoyed. I also noticed the alternative definitions it gave to the moon. It's an ornament in the sky, but it's also a gloom that hangs over your bedroom. It added depth to the poem where it could have just said "the moon in the sky".
Part Two:
I think my writing and my criticism have both changed a lot throughout our workshops. I am definitely better at picking out criticisms now than I was earlier. At first I would only talk about punctuation and the way a poem sounded and maybe my favorite word, but now I can pick out both good and bad uses of the line, and in turn I am able to incorporate that into my own writing. I am much more conscious of the line in my poetry now, when I used to have no idea what it was. I'm better at recognizing flow and form and meter, as I know more vocabulary relating to those things and how to use them myself.
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