Hi all, and please use the Comments section here to each post your Sonnet that you wrote with a partner in class.
Then as a response exercise, once all the Sonnets are here, pick your favorite, and use the Reply feature to explain your choice and show us what is working in that poem for you.
Work to develop your taste-- hone, through practice and working with language in this way, your eyes and ears for language and poetry.
All best,
Mike
Snow falls softly to the ground
ReplyDeletethe sun doesn't rise anymore
The artist likes to make sound
The sun rose before
I walk outside to see
what the day will hold
I sip on some tea
as I look for mold
I don't find any
My life is clean
I can't find my money
My boss is mean
But that's okay
she said anyway
This poem presents a contemplative yet simplistic rhyme scheme. The analogies provide balance with the imagery in each stanza. The flow is fluid reminding me of a daydream.
DeleteI like the last line of this poem, it is almost a slant rhyme and I enjoy the incorporation. Also the lines are 4-6 words per line so its very simplistic but has a cool flow.
DeleteAziz Hamid's sonnet
ReplyDeleteI like to play ball
I have two brothers
We play outside in the fall
And respect our grandmothers
Rain drops fall from the sky
The birds flock together every morning
And dogs, cats and people walk by
They bring joy without warning
I sit in the dark
As I ponder about life
I want to leave a mark
But not one of strife
I lay down in bed
And finally rest my troubled head
The first stanza is my favorite with the part about the grandmothers!
DeleteThe whole thing flowed good, no real changes in voice when you switch.
DeleteThis one is my favorite because I enjoy the simplicity of it! You used a lot of words and imagery that everybody can relate with. I agree with Dathan on the flow of the poem, it helps when you can read the whole thing without having to pause and try to figure out the rhyme scheme. I think using true rhyme in this poem helps with this simplistic theme because slant rhyme takes a little more effort to find the rhyme.
DeleteI loved this one! I just picture a young boy with big dreams and an average life. He plays basketball but he also ponders life. The rhyme is very smooth and the poem feels like it's standing well on it's own without explanation.
DeleteLiterary sexism is a trivial topic,
ReplyDeletewho are you to say masculine or feminine?
Don't forget us, those in the tropics
We don't care it's too damn humid, men
The amazon women carry
water with such grace
She Seems like a fairy
so fair in the face
The words feminine and slant
don't give her beauty or justice
An old archaic, even ancient bent
that holds no more than substance
There shouldn't be a time I'd rather be called masculine
we ran out of lines so I must say fin.
This is my favorite because I too believe literary sexism is a trivial topic.
DeleteThe stream flows down a steady bend
ReplyDeletethe leaves float with the gentle breeze
The seasons changing a nice blend,
as the leaves swim to the seas.
The life within the rolling land
provided noise to the listening ear
Like a sport's team marching band
playing proud for all to hear.
The setting sun painting the sky
creating colors visible to the eye
These colors that were usually shy
came out at night, I don't know why.
This naturalistic ritual's beginning is a mystery,
but its admired and valued among history.
I really like this sonnet because of all of the imagery used. I really like the metaphor "Like a sport's team marching band."
ReplyDeleteOh! how the sun dost shine amid
ReplyDeletethe green overgrowth of the forest
The birds fly high and rid
the worms and scare the tourists
Diving, clawing and snatching away
all they try to eat drink and lounge upon
All they want to do is lay,
but soon the worms and birds make sure they don't stay long
Hunting, stalking, swishing, swoshing
We hunt our prey, the humans here
will not last till washing
the things we do will conjure more than fear.
Fly free our day will arrive
and the humans will not be invited ton contrive.
I enjoy this poems incorporation of imagery. The authors collectively created a good sense of the environment and being in nature. As someone who loves going in the woods for that no-frills lifestyle it's nice to fully be able to see it through the eyes of the animals of the woods.
DeleteA little mouse named Jerry,
ReplyDeletelived in the hole of a wall,
the owners were very merry,
but their fridge was way too tall.
Jerry thought he saw a cookie,
so he climbed his way to the top,
he threw caution aside, like a rookie,
he grabbed some crumbs and slid down the mop.
But suddenly appearing,
Jerry's mortal enemy,
he knew the end was nearing,
the cat showed him no empathy.
The cat and mouse ran, chased, and clashed,
until the house was severely trashed.
I like this poem a lot, mainly because I watched Tom and Jerry as a kid and it brought back memories. I also love how, even when restricted, they came up with a clever story.
Delete